Malaysian Guy Pulls Train with his Teeth

A dude in Malaysia nicknamed “King Tooth” pulled a 328-ton train more than 9 feet yesterday.

“King Tooth’s” incredible feat was submitted to the Guinness Book of World Records.

Not to be a jerk, but THIS is why some countries are still living in the stone age. Instead of curing diseases and building infrastructure, people are too busy trying to out-do each other in idiotic feats of strength like this. Brilliant!

I hope “King Tooth” gets a cavity.

Mascot in Japan Knocks out Umpire

Who says Japanese baseball games aren’t entertaining? Check out this retarded inflatable mascot as he dances and then knocks out the innocent umpire. Classic.

NASCAR Drivers Flash Demeaning Hand Gestures

This 2004 photo depicting Dale Earnhardt Jr. and two other NASCAR drivers I don’t recognize because I think NASCAR sucks flashing ‘the shocker’ has apparently just surfaced. Feminists are flabbergasted by the shocking gestures of these supposed role models, crying out they are degrading to women, blah blah blah.

At what point will they realize these are just hillbilly Budweiser-drinking rednecks, and their opinions are irrelevant, allegedly?

100-year-old celebrates her birthday by smoking 170,000th cigarette

Poor Miss Teen South Carolina

Here is the video you have all been hearing about. This is truly an unfortunate event, not because the poor girl may be judged illiterate, but because the lady who asked the question is even a bigger idiot. First of all, her statistic is completely wrong. I understand how statistics work, and how one can get any result they desire based on the survery they sample. For instance, if you want to have a statistic result that states only 1 out of every 5 Americans can point out the United States on a map, you can ask a class of infants the question, and when they give you the wrong answer, there you have it.

The question Miss Teen South Carolina was asked is total BS, but the video is absolutely hilarious. Enjoy:

Car Crashes into German Guys Home

A German man said on Thursday he feared he may have built his own tomb after a vehicle plowed into his house for the 10th time.

Apparently, the home is at the end of a windy road, and he built it himself. Built it himself? I’m starting to think that even the draft of a car driving by will knock that piece of sh*t down! :-\

Tito Ortiz Eats Jenna Jameson

Leona Leaves $12 Million to Pooch, but Nothing to Grandkids

The late Leona Helmsley, aka the Queen of Mean, left $12 million to her dog, Trouble, but not one red cent to two of her grandkids, reports the New York Post, and none to her 12 great-grandchildren either.

I would’ve never expected anything like this from someone nicknamed the ‘Queen of Mean’ and who looks so nice in the above picture… B!tch.

MSNBC Quotes Fake Al Sharpton

I think after this story, I am going to officially close down TechF*cked.com, because nothing will ever get funnier than this. Apparently, on one of the various fake celebrity blogs, a fake Al Sharpton made a post in response to the Michael Vick commotion. MSNBC found the blurb and quoted it as being from Al Sharpton’s very own mouth. Here is the fake Al Sharpton’s quote:

Consider this: If the police caught Brett Favre running a dolphin-fighting ring out of his pool, where dolphins with spears attached to their foreheads fought each other to the death, would they bust him? Of course not. They would get his autograph, commend him on his tightly-spiraled forward passes, then bet on one of his dolphins.

Here is the correction on MSNBC’s website:

An earlier version of this article quoted from a blog entry purportedly by the Rev. Al Sharpton. MSNBC.com has determined that the blog is a hoax. In July, Sharpton signed a letter with People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals condemning dogfighting, saying: “Dogfighting is unacceptable. Hurting animals for human pleasure or gain is despicable. Cruelty is just plain wrong.”

Brett Favre… dolphin fighting ring… no red flags went up? Ha!

Big Dog and Little Chick

Poor Rufus was just trying to get a couple of minutes of sleep when his little buddy decided it was her turn to play too.